Monday, March 15

Review: Crank

If you like 300, Jackass and Saw, if you wear shirts promoting how awesome beer is and if you call things "gay" at least twice a day, you are going to friggin' LOVE Crank.

If you are over forty, if you dislike violence in movies and if you only watch them to stress out after a hard day's work, Crank is going to downright disgust you.

If you are a movie geek who likes art movies but can appreciate good movie violence, if you listen to music no-one ever heard of and if you wear a hat, Crank will probably half-amuse, half-outweird you and not leave any lasting impression.

After some flashy intro credits, Jason Statham wakes up feeling sick. He walks into his living room and finds a dvd with FUCK YOU written on it. He watches the film, and some douchebag in a purple shirt tells him he has been poisoned and will die within an hour. He reacts to this is in the most mature and thoughtful manner: by smashing the shit out of his television.

This sets the tone quite nicely for the rest of the film. Statham finds out that if he keeps his adrenaline level high enough he can delay the effects. You can guess what happens next. The story is pretty much an excuse to make Jason Statham kill a lot of people, jump from buildings and fuck his girlfriend in public.

Like this, all the time

I could easily break this movie down and pick on the stupid dialogues (that contain at least 3 fucks a line), the terrible characterization and the stroboscopic editing. But I get the feeling I would completely miss the point if I do that. Crank knows what it wants to do and does it. It's not ashamed to be a no-compromise, no-bullshit MAN MOVIE. Guys walk around with enormous guns, the girl character is the stupidest blonde chick I have ever seen outside of an Evil Dead movie and at one point the main character gets an enormous erection, which is supposedly funny. If you are willing to run along with that (and are ideally really drunk and with friends) you will get a great ride from all of this. If you don't, this movie is allright at best. I can't say I hate it, but this isn't really my thing either. I don't think I'm gonna see it again.


P.S. why is everyone comparing this movie to a video game? I noticed a lot more influence from Asian movies like Oldboy and The Chaser. End of pretentious bit.

This song is pretty much how the movie goes: not leaving a single moment of breath.

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