Wednesday, November 10

The Directors ABC

Note: this is what happens when I get bored.

A is for Allen,
Whose taste is unbeaten,
He is pretty neurotic,
And banged Diane Keaton.

B is for Burton,
who paints everything black,
then makes things all curly,
and then pans waaaay back.

C is for Chaplin,
Whose hat and whose cane
Made him quite famous,
And also quite vain.

D is for De Palma,
Whose films are real gory,
But despite the dumb accents
They tell a good story.

E is for Eastwood,
Who was a cool actor,

He always looked grumpy

And now he’s a director.

F is for Ford,
Who made movies with horses,
And cowboys and indians
And loads of armed forces.

G is for Gilliam,

Who at first was a Python,
but who can’t make a movie

About some dude fighting giants.

H is for Hitchcock,

Who had the power
To make everyone scared

Of taking a shower.

J is for Chuck Jones,
Who made silly cartoons,
And was the mind behind
All the Loony Tunes.

K is for Keaton,
Who had a face made of stone.
He did not even flinch
When he broke half his bones.

L is for Lynch,
who makes things askew,
but he makes sure the thing
you fear most is you.

M is for Murnau,
Who was a bit of a prick,
But at least his vampire
Sucked blood and not dick.

N is for Nolan,
Who made a great Bat,
Which I hope he will pit
Against a very hot Cat.

O is for Olivier,
Who played the bard in his youth,
And when he got old
He drilled Dustins tooth.

P is for Park Chan-Wook,
Who won’t make you smile,
But you’ll have to admit:
The fucker has style.

Q is for the Quay Brothers,
Who make weird animation,
Which is never, however,
very long in duration.

R is for Raimi,
who, without too much money
made three horror flicks
that are still really funny.

S is for Shyamalan,
Whose twists made us cheer,
But the only thing dead now
Seems to be his career.

T is for Tarantino,
Who makes some people sickly,
but his movies kick ass,
And he talks really quickly.

V is for Von Trier,
Who hates fancy equipment,
And to travel on plane
he is quite resistant.

W is for Welles,
Orson was his name
He ended up fat,
but made Citizen Kane.

Z is for Zemeckis,
Who likes christmas and swords,
And chocolates and aliens
And hoverboards.

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