The Directors ABC

Note: this is what happens when I get bored.

A is for Allen,

Whose taste is unbeaten,

He is pretty neurotic,

And banged Diane Keaton.

B is for Burton,

who paints everything black,

then makes things all curly,

and then pans waaaay back.

C is for Chaplin,

Whose hat and whose cane

Made him quite famous,

And also quite vain.

D is for De Palma,

Whose films are real gory,

But despite the dumb accents

They tell a good story.


E is for Eastwood,

Who was a cool actor,

He always looked grumpy

And now he’s a director.

F is for Ford,

Who made movies with horses,

And cowboys and indians

And loads of armed forces.

G is for Gilliam,

Who at first was a Python,
but who can’t make a movie

About some dude fighting giants.

H is for Hitchcock,

Who had the power
To make everyone scared

Of taking a shower.

J is for Chuck Jones,

Who made silly cartoons,

And was the mind behind

All the Loony Tunes.

K is for Keaton,

Who had a face made of stone.

He did not even flinch

When he broke half his bones.

L is for Lynch,

who makes things askew,

but he makes sure the thing

you fear most is you.

M is for Murnau,

Who was a bit of a prick,

But at least his vampire

Sucked blood and not dick.

N is for Nolan,

Who made a great Bat,

Which I hope he will pit

Against a very hot Cat.

O is for Olivier,

Who played the bard in his youth,

And when he got old

He drilled Dustins tooth.

P is for Park Chan-Wook,

Who won’t make you smile,

But you’ll have to admit:

The fucker has style.

Q is for the Quay Brothers,

Who make weird animation,

Which is never, however,

very long in duration.

R is for Raimi,

who, without too much money

made three horror flicks

that are still really funny.

S is for Shyamalan,

Whose twists made us cheer,

But the only thing dead now

Seems to be his career.

T is for Tarantino,

Who makes some people sickly,

but his movies kick ass,

And he talks really quickly.

V is for Von Trier,

Who hates fancy equipment,

And to travel on plane

he is quite resistant.

W is for Welles,

Orson was his name

He ended up fat,

but made Citizen Kane.

Z is for Zemeckis,

Who likes christmas and swords,

And chocolates and aliens

And hoverboards.