Tuesday, December 15

Suicide Chic

Death is always a touchy subject, and getting yourself killed is something not many people like to discuss.

That said, that doesn't mean it can't be funny.

Here are some t-shirt designs, and how likely you are to be murdered while wearing them.

Christians are softies these days. You'll probably get more high-fives with this one then knives in your back.

They know. This one will probably only encourage them. They DO tend to carry razors, however, so be cautious.

You're entering dangerous territory here. Lots of Muslims are easy-going fellas, but they can get a little crazy sometimes. This one is also pretty douchebaggy.

HER MAJESTY, QUEEN BEATRIX OF THE NETHERLANDS, IS A PROSTITUTE - 0%It won't get you killed. The dutchies are hardly loyal to their royal house. It will, however, get you arrested, unlike any of the other on this list. Really.

HOMOSEXUALITY IS A SIN! REPENT, YE BLASPHEMERS!!! - 5%The only reason this might get you killed is out of shame. You will be laughed at harder then the Zelda CD-i Games.

GOD BLESS HITLER (actual text on a protest sing, I didn't make this one up) - 35 %Now you're really going for it. Shirts with nazi imagery of any kind make you an instant asshole, but this one will get you a beating at least.

KILL ALL NAZI'S - 45%Seriousely, don't mess with these guys. They follow the most retarded political ideology ever, so they won't shy away of doing even worse stuff. Like giving you some extra crevices.

PLUTO NEVER SHOULD HAVE BEEN A PLANET, while at an astronomers covention - 20%This will spark an enormous fist-fight in mere moments. Don't be surprised to be in the middle of it.

ROCK IS DEAD, while at Rock Werchter - 40%Oh come on.

I FUCKING HATE TWILIGHT - 100%Don't even think about it. You don't stand a chance. Anyone with a sister knows how ferocious 14 year old girls can be. Now imagine every one of those girls in a diameter of 10 kilometers trying to rip the flesh from your bones. I repeat: not a chance.

Which is pretty much the only reason I don't own and proudly wear one of those shirts.

Yes, I wrote an entire article just to get that point across. I know. Here is some music to make up.


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