Tuesday, December 29

The Worst Things of the Decade

I have postponed writing this one waaaaay to long. So here goes:

The films were great, but the pop music was pretty horrible. According to wikipedia:

"The decade was marked by the dominance of both hip hop music (especially crunk, electro-hop, and gangsta rap) and alternative rock (especially emo and post-grunge). Few revolutions were made during this decade in music, and styles of the 1990s and early 2000s were still popular up to 2009. The late 2000s were also the beginning of the Synthpop revival. Artists such as Lady GaGa and Florence and the Machine redefined electro-pop."

Also: the best-selling band of the decade was Nickelback. Nickelback!


With the power of the internet bestowed upon me, I hereby pronounce rock officially dead.

Fuck, do I hate this guy. Seriously. I blame him for the war in Iraq as well, so that one doesn't get another place. This war was even more useless then normal, and that's saying something.

Both before and after the credit crisis this has sucked balls. Before we have been so retardedly rich that not only was testicle-replacing surgery for dogs invented, but it was a smash hit.
And then the economy crashed. We were so devastated by the fact that Fluffy would have to live without the comfort of an intact scrotum, we forgot that people have begun dying quite a bit in places where they don't have very much money.

Way to go, world.
I won't say it came from nothing, or that muslims are all blessed flower-childs. I can see how people have problems with them. But holy shit, have we been tackling our problems the worst possible way. First the Protestants, then the Jews, now the Muslims...

Admittedly, it would be really funny if the Buddhists are next. You really can't get those guys angry, which would be infuriating to their persecutors. Tee Hee.

I used to think some dude shooting another dude in the face because he had a better strategy was awful.

Now, some dude shoots another in the face while being invisible. If he isn't to lazy to let a robot do it for him. War is bad, people, but now we're not even giving them a chance.

In memoriam.

Carl Barks, The Duck Man, 1901-2000

George Harrison, The Quiet Beatle, 1943-2001

Douglas Noel Adams, Original Geek, 1952-2001

Astrid Lingren, Writer of Great Children's Book, 1907-2002

Chuck Jones, Animator, 1912-2002

Marlon Brando, The Godfather, 1924-2004

Hunter S. Thompson, Redefined "Tripping", 1937-2005

Steve Irwin, Crocodile Wrestler, 1962-2006

Ingmar Bergman, Maker of Movies, 1918-2007

Don Lafontaine, Voice of God, 1940-2008

Les Paul, Inventor of Music, 1915-2009

You will be remembered.

The Americans have color-coded how afraid people should be. People are told to be scared all the time. The terrorists have it easy: their targets have made themselves terrified. And in case you think I'm overreacting: Proof.

You know, the whole "emo"-thing never bothered me that much. I mean, they were a bunch of whiny bitches, but at least they didn't bother people (Punkers spat on everything. Think abou that for a minute).

And then, some incredibly frustrated bitch of a writer made the coolest monster in the history of coolness emo. And it became a huge success. I pity the boys who are just a few years younger then me: they have to compete with an abusive stalker that sparkles in daylight instead of just bursting into flames. Poor sods.

You know who celebrities used to be like? Inspiring or talented people, and hopefully both. People like Mother Teresa and Che Guevara. Great musicians like The Beatles and Elvis. Sartre. Andy Warhol. James Dean. Kurt Cobain.

And now they are all dead. We're left with Tila Tequila and both Paris and Perez Hilton.

Apparently your standards for quality are defined from your puberty to your early twenties. That's why many of our parents still think Pretty Woman is the best film ever. So what happened during these years will be my standard of a quality time. God dammit. And that's even without all the angst, the spots and the being pretty much the only "alto" kid in school that didn't pledge allegiance to Metallica.

To make this blog a bit more uplift, here is another one of the best songs of this decade.


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